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How does a celibate spiritual life
differ from non-celibate?

Spiritual development is the process through which a person comes to know oneself as the Supreme Being, the Living Divinity inhabiting the human body and mind. This process is transrational and thus is beyond intellectual understanding. It consists of "curing" oneself from the addiction of reaching out for externally perceived objects, assuming that they exist in conventionally perceived form and thus sustaining the conception-perception consensus reality of the Universe. This insidious habit discourages sustained realization of one’s true nature as an Infinite Consciousness (God), Which is immortal and immutable and is in constant bliss (ananda), peace (shanti) and contentment.

The urge to unite with one's partner and the spiritual urge to unite with God are very similar in nature. Both are a manifestation of the innate longing to be filled, to be satisfied. Under the influence of Avidya Maya or the Force of Ignorance this desire for fulfillment, which can only be satisfied through the Union with God (yoga), is redirected toward externally perceived objects (i.e., a sex partner) and manifests itself as sex drive. No matter how misdirected that yearning is, at the core of any human being there exists a living soul, a bit of the Infinite that longs for the Infinite. To try to satisfy that soul’s craving for the Infinite through limited (finite) things is like feeding a starving man philosophy. It just does not satisfy the hunger! The hunger of the human soul is to know the Almighty. It can only be satisfied through spiritual practice, through spiritual effort (sadhana).

An attempt to satisfy the spiritual longing for the Supreme by running after objects of the external world is a guarantee of bitter disappointment. Most ordinary sexual expressions, no matter how pleasant or emotionally involved, are a kind of externally directed activity. Of course, all this does not mean that a spiritual person needs to exclude sex from his life. Externally expressed sexuality is a natural (and animal) activity, and it is possible to use it for spiritual growth. (How this is done we'll have to discuss at another time.)

Celibacy is a radical method of ‘curing’ oneself of the addiction of reaching out for externally perceived objects. Celibacy and its formal expression—monasticism is akin to marriage but the bride/groom is none other than the Supreme Divinity Itself. Celibacy as a spiritual practice is a method of redirecting the sexual drive toward God. This transmutation is not that difficult once you experience the proximity (various attributive samadhis) with the Supreme: if you multiply pleasures of orgasm by a factor of thousands, you will understand the powerful allure of the mystical ecstatic union with God. (You will also understand why spiritual people are often so obsessed with their spiritual practice—God is super-seductive and very pleasant to be around…) Please note that celibacy/monasticism as a method should be used only by people who have attained a certain degree of spiritual development, who have adequate preparation (otherwise failure is certain) AND who have a need for such a radical approach.

The question of the difference between the spiritual development of a celibate and a person who externally expresses his spirituality is an important one. It is usually asked by people who are trying to resolve the conflict between their natural instincts and the unhealthy attitude toward sex ubiquitous in our society ‘inspired’ both by lifeless religious dogma and the loose ‘morals’ of an anything-goes materialistic culture. My master said that those who become monks are people who either have little interest or too much interest in the external world. The rest can successfully lead a family life. The monastic lifestyle, however, fosters spiritual growth to a greater degree: there is more time for spiritual endeavors and fewer distractions. But then monastic lifestyle has its own difficulties—people don't understand monks, their parents miss quarrels with non-existent children-in-law and long for grandchildren, friends doubt their sanity, while the press, instead of offering support and respect, exaggerates their ‘downfalls’ unless, of course, they are mother Teresas. Historically, there have been outstanding examples of a life dedicated to the spiritual ideals among both monastics and laymen. Both can be a source of spiritual inspiration and emotional comfort for others.

— Anatole